


Fucking Elevator Rides, Baby! (The Importance of Letting Go)

by KaterinaSentByCyberLife



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Connor is a good bro, Demisexual RK900, Demisexuality, Depression, Everyone is Supportive, First Time Blow Jobs, Gavin Reed Being Less of an Asshole, Gavin is dumb, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure RK900, Light Angst, M/M, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, Nines is confused, Nines is obvious, Not Beta Read, POV Gavin Reed, POV Upgraded Connor | RK900, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), RK900 is called Nines, Simon is a good bro, Simon lives, Smut, Soft Gavin Reed, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Is Bad at Feelings, Upgraded Connor | RK900 is In Denial About Deviancy, all of the drama, all of the homo, how do i tag this is a mess, okay I know this is all over the place but bear with me, so is gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaterinaSentByCyberLife/pseuds/KaterinaSentByCyberLife
Summary: What does happen when a grumpy detective and a confused android get trapped in a stuffy elevator?Mistakes happen, chaos and feels ensue. Nines is confused about his identity and ventures deeper into deviancy than ever before, Gavin is hurt and mildly depressed, Connor has enough of their shit and Simon is a good bro.
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human) (mentioned), Upgraded Connor | RK900 & Simon, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 18
Kudos: 205





	Fucking Elevator Rides, Baby! (The Importance of Letting Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, and welcome to my fic!  
> And the beginning, there was a long train ride and a discussion about sex in the lavatories. Then, all it took was an overactive imagination and some practice in writing smut. Somehow, it spiralled out of control.  
> I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm a self-indulging little bitch and got so many WIP for those two marvellous idiots I simply had to try and finish at least one.  
> Nines reluctance to the deviation is inspired by his wonderful portrayal in Detroit: Awakening- a fan movie made by Octopunk Media. Kudos to you, guys! Maximilian's Nines has me weak in knees and I simply can't wait for their new movie coming out this spring. Give them guys some love, they are on Youtube!

The day could not possibly get any worse. Gavin cursed loudly and let his frustration out of his system by kicking the stubbornly closed elevator door and cursed even louder when the pain spread through the tip of his toes.

"Please, stop destroying both the elevator and you," Nines said dryly. He was standing in front of the elevator mirror, and despite his annoyed tone, he looked mildly amused by Gavin's overreactions, although it was kind of hard to tell because of both of mildness of his facial expressions and the unnatural, soft, red emergency light in the stuck cabin.

They were on the outskirts of Detroit, in one of the long-abandoned Cyberlife buildings. They've been sent there to make sure there were no androids left, because, that was something Gavin had to do now since he was working with Nines. However, there were no android's left- just empty corridors, left behind labs and abandoned housing units. It had Gavin feel empty and lonely, and he was quite grateful when Nines finally shook his head, concluding that there is nothing of interest neither for them or Jericho, no abandoned android, no spare parts, no blueprints, nothing at all.

They entered the stuffy elevator together. Having Nines so close had been doing things to Gavin, despite working with the android for months.

Connor has been, if one was to forget he's an android and a little piece of shit, always kind of pretty. He was made to. Gavin knew it well. Androids were supposed to look nice, to buy their way into people's hearts and minds. It was simply a nice package. It made them sold well. The RK line, or at least all three androids of the said line Gavin had met, were no exception of that. Now, Gavin didn't give a flying fuck about Markus or whatever was his supposed designation. Connor, Gavin soon realised as he saw him stood beside his brother, was meant to be more on the friendly side of the android- human interaction. Hence the wide, round brown eyes, soft expressions and cheerful voice. Connor was made to blend in with the crowd, with the police force. However, Nines, Gavin soon learned, was of a completely different sort.

He was a military-grade prototype. They took Connor, made everything about him a grade better, a grade more dangerous, sharpened his cheeks and cut the roundness of his jaw, narrowed his eyes, gave them colder, greyish blue colour, made him a bit taller, his legs longer and shoulders slightly wider, but somehow forgot to get rid of the slight waviness of his dark hair, the little turf hair hanging into his forehead, and of that soft, expressive curve of his lips that tended to gave away all of his emotions once you learned to read it.

The point was, Nines was made to be scarier and deadly efficient if whatever he was ordered to do. Which meant, he was scarily competent, strictly logical and kind of stuffy. Or he used to be stuffy, at least. It seemed that being around people made him more relaxed somehow, and he now possessed something one could call a sense of humour.

And he was also devastatingly and unfortunately gorgeous. He was the single most gorgeous guy Gavin has ever seen.

Part of their initial hostility has indeed come from the fact Nines was, you know, an android taking on Gavin's job. But a part of it was sheer gay panic. Gavin was not sure whether we wanted to flirt him out of his pants or to get him as far away as he possibly could before he makes a fool out of himself.

Over time, it got significantly better. At first, Nines was being polite and quiet, albeit a bit too cold and distant, probably well aware of Gavin's initial disdain of both him and of working with someone. Gavin always worked alone, but soon, he realised having someone to tell his thoughts about the case to or have another pair of observant eyes made his life significantly easier.

He didn't realise he was warming up to his new partner until Connor met him at the break room one day and sincerely thanked him for how he was treating Nines.

Gavin initially only hummed in response, busy chewing on his sandwich and reading an article on motorbike maintenance on his phone. But when the words finally through his ears to his brain and to the area responsible in deciphering the meaning behind the sounds Connor has just made, his eyes snapped up to look the android in the eye.

"What did you just say?" he asked Connor.

"I- thanked you for how you get along with Nines?" Connor repeated slowly, looking mildly confused.

"I do what now?" Gavin asked again, and he could feel his own eyes widening in realization.

Oh. _Oh._

Connor sighed, and clicked his tongue impatiently, shooting a quick look over his shoulder.

"Look, Nines has it pretty hard. There is no way you'd know, but his programming was being designed while the deviancy was already a thing. Some of his programmings are far to hard-coded than with any previous model. He was created to hunt androids and when we first found him, he tried to kill us all. We had to restrain him physically and even then, it took both me and Markus quite some time to deviate him. Even after that, he's been really hostile. It took me weeks of work to have him somehow functional, and we had to repair and replace quite a few of his protocols and programmes. And now, look at him," Connor explained him in a hushed voice and looked to where Nines was discussing something with Anderson by his table. He looked to be at ease, despite still being an imposing six feet of raw power and logic. Gavin could see the small smile on his lips all the way from here.

Connor tucked his infamous turf of hair away, just for it to return immediately back to his place.

"I knew it would be a good idea to have him working with you. You were the only person who he didn't intimidate. Literally, everyone was afraid of him, including Markus. It must have been a relief to have someone with a different reaction to him," he confessed.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Gavin asked him.

"Because I am grateful, naturally," Connor answered simply, shaking his head lightly in exasperation. "But don't tell him. He does not like anyone fussing over him. Just… keep doing what you're doing."

They fell quiet for a moment. Gavin took another bite out of his sandwich as he looked in Nines direction. This time, he noticed his gaze and met his eyes. He gave him a small, wreckingly beautiful smile before returning to discuss whatever he was discussing with Anderson.

"He's not that bad of the partner, nor that bad of the person," Gavin concluded. "So… you're welcome, I guess."

Connor laughed and walked away seemingly satisfied with their little discussion. Later, when he returned to the table, Gavin found a cup of nice, hot coffee there, with a small, far to symmetrical smiley face drawn on a post-it stuck on the rim. He smirked at the sight, tucking it away in his pocket, thinking when the hell has he become friends with not only Nines but his quirky brother, too.

Back to the present, Gavin was leaning against the door, his foot tapping against the floor in unsettling rhythm. He didn't particularly enjoy small spaces. It was moments like this he was kind of glad Nines was an android, leaving more oxygen for him to breath. Still, he was not very comfortable. He left his head to fall back against the elevator door with a soft thud and frustrated groan.

"The dedicated services are on their way," Nines said in a soothing tone as if that was supposed to calm Gavin down. "But they said it may take them some time. We're far from the centre of the city, and the blackout is citywide. A policeman and an android are apparently a bit of a low priority, or so I was told."

"Right," Gavin sighed. "Next time, we're taking the stairs."

Nines took a small step closer towards him. His head was leaning to the side slightly, one of the corners of his mouth rose, forming a small dimple in his cheek. Once again, Gavin was left wondering who on Earth had time to include this type of design features to the killing machine and why are they even there, besides for tucking at Gavin's poor, gay heart.

"Could it be you're not fond of clustered spaces?" Nines asked him.

"It's hard to find a human fond of them," Gavin mumbles. Nines take another step closer, and he's definitely closer than he needs to be for this debate to happen.

"I see. Can I be of any assistance, then?"

Gavin closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with middle fingers and a thumb of his right hand and is about to tell Nines that he can begin by stepping back, but when he opens his eyes, Nines is standing even closer, so close that he can actually see every single detail of his seemingly perfect face, every single of those small moles and freckles and pores added there for some stupid texture reasons or something, and everything Gavin wanted to say about him being too close is utterly lost.

Nines didn't say a word. He just stood there, staring down at him, examining his face carefully, with an expression so fascinated that it made Gavin feel almost like a rare species of a butterfly which caught an eye of long- searching expert.

And the time around them has stopped and something came lurking in between then, slowly peeking in curiously and checking whether the air is free, before...

"You're so fascinating," Nines says, and it comes out as a breathy whisper. He raised one of his hands and run a thumb across Gavin's cheek, fingers tracing an old scar he had there and was definitely not proud of.

If it was a distraction tactic, it worked marvellously. Gavin was at loss of words. Nines' thumb was smooth against his skin, and he had never seen his greyish blue eyes up from this close and shit, shit, fuck him sideways if they were not the single most beautiful thing Gavin has ever seen, like two dark, stormy oceans swallowing him and oh god, why is this happening to him, out of all the people?

"Nines, what the fuck," he said or tried to say, at least, not even sure whether the words made it out of his mouth.

Nines was now holding his face in both of his hands, and his lips parted softly when he said Gavin's name so quietly it was hard to actually make out the sound, and then the distance closed and Nines was kissing him, oh god, why, and how and when did that happen and the mouth pressed against his felt so soft and tender and without his permission, Gavin's hands crawled up and balled themselves on the front of Nines' jacket, pulling him a bit closer and that's it, he fucked up and he knows it, but if this the kiss to end whatever they had going on, he better fucking enjoy it at least.

He was not sure who was the first one to actually deepen the kiss, but now he had Nines' hands all over his face, jaw, shoulders, his torso and his hips and his ass, searching, touching him restlessly, pulling at his shirt, and his tongue was in his mouth and Gavin can't even remember when it was he was last kissed, but he was still pretty sure nobody has ever kissed him like this. And when Nines pulled away, at last, it was only to press numerous hot and breathy open-mouthed kisses to Gavin's jaw and neck, opening the zipper of his jacket, all Gavin could do was gasp, suddenly short of breath, and he rose his chin up to give Nines better access to the tender flesh, not even caring about hickeys he was sure to have and everyone will see, because Nines started sucking and biting his skin.

He gave as good as he has gotten, combing his fingers through chocolaty mess of Nines' hair and kissing him feverishly and he could not help it but press his hips against Nines', grinding into them. Well, there was not much he could do about it anyway, because he was captured between the very shut elevator door and android himself, and Nines seemed to be as eager about this as Gavin was, if not more, judging from how he hummed in pleasure softly every now and then.

He let out a stifled groan when Nines bit down on his lower lip and pulled away so he can look Gavin in the eye, one of his hands resting on Gavin's nape, while the other sat on his hipbone, steady and warm. Looking back may, however, been a mistake, since Gavin has never ever witnessed such a glorious mess. Nines was all glistening lips, ruffled hair and dark, stormy eyes with heavy lids, and the elevator is suddenly full of Gavin's shortened breath and nobody in this world has neither right nor business looking so breathtakingly aroused.

"Fuck," was all Gavin is able to get out of himself, as eloquent as ever, when he feels the heat pooling in the bottom of his stomach. One of his hands is still on Nines' chest, and it's raising up and down with breaths he didn't need to take, while the other was still tangled in his hair.

A small smirk founds its way to Nines soft, expressive lips as he let out an appreciative hum, for once likely being in tune with what Gavin has said. His hand, the one that has been resting on Gavin's hipbone, slowly crawled its way down to the front of Gavin's jeans and palms him through the rough fabric meaningfully. Gavin could not help another muffled groan finding its way out of his throat.

Nines squeezed him again and he leaned forward to whisper into Gavin's ear.

"Don't hold it. Nobody but me can hear you here."

His long, clever fingers were already working on Gavin's belt buckle and then, on the button and the fly of his jeans and before Gavin got a say in the whole matter, there was a hand down in his underwear and fingers wrapped around his hardened length. Nines sucks gently at his earlobe and he let his other hand join the party, pulling Gavin's pants and underwear away just enough to get to him comfortably.

And all Gavin could do was just stand there completely mortified, face buried in Nines' clothed shoulder, letting him have his way with him. Those smooth fingers examined his whole length with feather-like strokes and Gavin stifled another groan in when Nines gave him an experimental pump.

"That'll do," he concluded, kissing the side of Gavin's neck gently.

Before Gavin could even say or do something and what was up with all of this sudden eagerness, anyways?, Nines was on his knees, still holding him in both of his hands.

"Whoa there!" Gavin yelped, not proud of that sound. "Nines, don't- shit!"

Nines wasted no time and took the tip between his lips, right into the heat of his mouth, rolling his tongue over the head, testing the waters. Gavin reached out behind himself to grab onto something but found nothing. Nines, mouth still full of Gavin, grabbed the wrist of the wandering hand and guided Gavin to bury it into his hair, before taking in more, forcing another undignified, needy sound out of Gavin's mouth. He could feel Nines smirking around him, and seriously, fuck that guy.

Nines was, however, busy with taking Gavin whole into his mouth, doing something amazing and probably illegal with his tongue, twirling and twisting and licking and swallowing around the hardened length, and the lack of gag reflex seemed to be making this effortlessly easy for Nines to drag out the most shameful, lewd sounds mankind has ever heard out of Gavin's mouth, who had just given up at this point, moaning out a constant string of groans and curses, burying his other hand in Nines hand and pulling, tucking at them like no tomorrow.

He kind of wished Nines wasn't so good at this, because then maybe, he'd be able to keep some dignity and maybe he would not be desperately trying not to come after such an embarrassingly short time.

At one point, as Gavin was struggling to keep his sanity intact, Nines stopped, and Gavin thought he had finally come to his senses and this is how it ends. Breathless, he looked down at him and had to stifle back another groan. Nines was kneeling, looking up at him, his hair a glorious mess, hand still around Gavin, lips parted, and eyes still dark with what Gavin could only describe as lust. He could come from that sight alone.

"Oh, fuck," he uttered quietly, throwing last bits of his pride out of the window.

"Relax," Nines said in a hushed, breathy voice. "No need to hold back. I can take all of you."

Well, if that wasn't a tempting promise, Gavin didn't know what was.

Nines started working his hand around him almost painfully slowly. All Gavin really wanted was to feel that smart, smirking mouth on himself again, but Nines had different ideas, it seemed.

"Ask for it, Gavin. You know you want to," he purred, pressing his thumb against the slit dripping with precum, smearing it all over. "Just say it. Say you want it. And don't be quiet about it. I want you to be vocal for me."

Biting his lip so hard it started bleeding, Gavin just decided to roll with it.

"I want you. I want your mouth on me, shit, Nines, I want-"

He gasped for air when Nines got back to work, licking the thick vein on the underside before taking him into his mouth again. Gavin's head rolled back, and this time, he laces the string of moans and curses with Nines' name, begging for the release.

When he finally came, Nines didn't pull away and didn't even flinch when Gavin pulled on his hair rather harshly and cried out Nines' name over and over in breathless litany, swallowed by the oblivion.

Nines steadied him through his release, but as soon as it was over, he let go of him and stood up, brushing the dust from his knees. For a moment, they just stared at each other, and then the realisation of what has happened just now has hit Gavin like a truck, washing away all left-over afterglow and left him in a dark, damp place.

Nines just blew him off in an elevator they were stuck in, and he fucking liked it. He buried his face into his hands in shock, suddenly very aware of the obscene sounds he made, and of his opened pants.

Before he was able to say anything, Nines turned his back to him, wiping his mouth with a tissue he miraculously produced from the pocket of his jacket and was probably spitting out Gavin's cum. Gavin was not sure that thing had any place to be in android's sensitive, lab-likee mouth.

"Nines?" he asked him softly when he was done with whatever he was doing, still standing there with his zipper open, gaping.

The android turned back to him slowly, handing him the tissues.

"Clean yourself and get yourself together. They can be there any minute," he told him in his usual mild voice, back to business. There was not a single trace of the excited breathiness, no more heavy-lidded, stormy eyes, no more smirking. Gavin winced at the swift change in tone and did what he was expected to, cleaning himself up, zipping his pants and smoothing his jacket and shirt, while Nines was busy taming his messy curls.

"Nines?" he tried again. The android looked at him and clicked his tongue, reaching out to straighten the crumpled collar of his jacket, his face completely smooth.

Gavin was confused. What was this all about then? Nines had just randomly launched himself against Gavin, gave him the best fucking blowjob of them all and now, he's as indifferent as if they just had a nice small talk about the recent drop in the temperatures.

But before he was able to confront him about the situation, there was a voice outside of the elevator shaft. It brought Gavin back to reality, back to the stuffy elevator, lit only by faint red light, where he was trapped with his android partner he was no business lusting after. So he kept his mouth shut and called back, stating that they are alright, and to get a move on.

They stayed quiet even during their ride to the station. Nines was driving, eyes on the road, while Gavin busied himself searching through the radio stations and generally being a bother rather than doing anything useful, or you know, talking.

When they pulled up in front of the station, Nines spoke up, at last.

"I have to go to Jericho and report to Markus. Why don't you do the same on the station and call it a day?" he suggested, but still, he was not looking at Gavin.

Was he embarrassed? Disgusted? Angry? Sad? There was no telling, not even from that traitorous lips of his.

Gavin hated to be left hanging in the dark but decided not to push his luck.

"Alright. I will see you tomorrow- I guess," he said, opening the car doors, and getting out. He dared to look back before closing the door, and this time, Nines was looking at him, his expression still unreadable.

"Of course," he nodded, almost like if reassuring himself. "Have a good night, detective."

"Night."

Gavin closed the door behind himself and stepped away while Nines fired up the engine and rode away, and with him, all the answers to the questions Gavin was so desperately asking himself.

After reporting to Fowler that there was absolutely nothing of fucking interest in the CyberLife's building they have snooped through, he went to his desk and read his email. Then, he checked his phone, half expecting Nines to message him or something to actually explain what happened today. He made himself a cup of coffee and idled around for a bit. Connor came to say hi when he saw him on his own in the breakroom, and Gavin told him about how they found nothing and got stuck in the elevator, earning a sympathetic grunt and comforting pat on the shoulder. Gavin thanked goodness for the differences in their design, because with those innocent brown eyes on his face, he could not even think about the sinful mouth and stormy eyes of Connor's brother, neither he could think he's actually talking to him, although he was probably staring a little bit too much.

"Are you alright? You look a bit out of it, Gavin," Connor asked when Gavin got lost in thoughts yet again.

"Yeah," he grunted. "Just a bit tired. I don't take closed spaces too well."

"Maybe you should go home," Connor concluded, furrowing his brows in worry. "Do you need a ride?"

"Nah. Got my bike in here," Gavin waved the offer off. "But thanks."

Connor simply nodded in response, however, Gavin could feel his eyes following him out of the room.

He grabbed his helmet and leather biking jacket out of the locker and decided to call it a day. There was nothing left for him to do, anyways. Nines probably took service police car for the night, since it was not on the parking lot, but Gavin's electric blue Ducati was there waiting for him.

Speeding through the streets of Detroit, he took an unnecessary detour, jut because he wanted to and could to and maybe because he was in the mood for a ride through the darkening city. It gave him something to think about and do with his hands and a different feeling beside the ghost of Nines' touches lingering on his skin.

Saying that he didn't notice the curious glances Nines sent him from time to time, saying that he didn't notice him checking him out or staring at him at the most random moments or smiling at him when there was nothing to smile about was a lie. Gavin noticed it. He was not sure what to do with it. Nines was really just feeling his way around life and he has not met all that many people and he's probably wrong about it, anyway, and probably has like a coffee stain on his face and Nines is laughing quite about that or something, thinking about how he got stuck with idiotic human like him like his partner, and today was likely just some cruel, android joke or some experiment or perhaps a way to release some build up tension and Gavin was just reading far too hard into this and he… he really needs a drink, a shower to get rids of the ghosts of Nines fingers on his skin and he'll just sleep it off, forgetting about it all.

So that was what he did.

The next morning, he was almost an hour late to the work, and his head was pounding with a hangover. The amount of drink he needed to kill the buzz of thought and questions in his head was bigger than he expected. He may or may not end up as a sobbing pile of confusion on the bottom of his shower, desperately rubbing his skin in an attempt to wash away Nines, wash away the memories, the lust, the temptation and the fact that he is, all in all, inevitably in love with his devastatingly, drop-dead gorgeous android partner. But nothing helped.

Nines rose his eyes from the computer when he saw Gavin walk in. If his expression changed when he saw him enter, Gavin did not notice.

Gavin immediately knew Nines knew about what he was up to tomorrow. He could see himself in a mirror, goddamit, he saw those angry red spots all over his face, and those bloodshot, sleepless eyes, and he knew he was a mess without android telling him so. He also knew he was late, and braced himself for the lecture coming his way, but there was none, just a lukewarm cup of coffee sitting at his table.

"Good morning, Detective Reed," Nines greeted him. It lacked the usual energy- just a distant, polite, cold greeting.

"Hiya," replied Gavin, looking at the cup of coffee with mild disdain. He was no way in a state to stomach it, not after the number of times he threw up.

"Markus sends his thanks for yesterday and he says he hopes he can count on us if something else like this comes up."

Gavin was staring at his message board and nodded absentmindedly.

"Sure, but no more elevator rides for me. One was quite enough."

He realised what he has said, and his eyes shot up to Nines' face guiltily. He only saw a passing shadow of expression, however, since Nines has already collected himself.

"Sure, if you wish," he replied simply, but there was something uncanny and foreign in his voice.

"Nines-" he started, but a familiar figure materialised by his table.

"Had a fun night, Reed?"

"Fuck off, Anderson."

Hank didn't fuck off and even had the guts to look amused about the hangover Gavin was nursing. He, however, handed him a blister with two pills left, and a bottle of vitamin water.

"What is it, disulfiram?" Gavin frowned at the blister.

"I don't need disulfiram to stay sober, you dick," Anderson frowned at him. He was clean shaved today, and instead of alcohol smelled of soap. Not a good soap, but a soap nevertheless. Connor seemed to have some good effect on him.

"Kay, I'm fucking sorry. What is it, then?"

"Acylpyrin. Works wonders for hangovers. Make sure to wash it down with this, and eat, if you can."

Gavin reluctantly took the blister and the bottle from Hank's hands.

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Fowler is in a foul mood today and it's gonna get worse if he sees you like this," Anderson replied snarkily. "Besides, you are simply a pain to watch."

"Thanks… I guess."

Anderson nodded and scooted back to his table. Connor shot Gavin a supportive smile over the bullpen. He probably thought he got wasted to forgot about the traumatic experience of being trapped in the elevator for almost an hour.

Well, he was not all that far from the truth.

Nines watched the whole exchange in pensive silence, however, as soon as Gavin turned towards him, he turned his eyes back to the computer.

"What do we have today?" Gavin asked him, swallowing one of the pills and watching it down with a generous gulp of that vitamin water.

"Nothing much," Nines concluded. "I'm wrapping up a report on that homicide we solved last week. There've been a few minor incidents. Why don't you check them out before I finish this?"

They worked in silence until it was lunchtime. Whenever a need arose to discuss something, they did so very carefully, with unnecessary politeness on both Gavin's and Nines' side.

It was the single most awkward day they've had since the first one. When Gavin announced Nines he's off for his lunch break, he actually asked him whether he would want something, too. It surprised Nines so badly he actually stopped taping away on his keyboard and looked him in the eye for the first time that day.

"I think I can manage," he replied dryly, probably thinking that Gavin was losing it.

Gavin could slap himself.

It went like this for two more days, when the weekend finally rolled around. Gavin hoped the two days of not being in close proximity for eight or more hours a day may close the uncanny valley opened between them, but truth to be told, it didn't. By next Wednesday, they literally did not seem to say a word to each other, besides what was strictly work-related, and not a single word was exchanged during very tense rides to the scenes of the crime they were called to, either. Gavin was sliding deeper and deeper into depression and was getting more and more snappy with anyone who tried to talk to him, including very confused Connor, who never forgot to bring him a cup of coffee when he was getting one for Anderson.

He only realised how was he was missing Nines now he hadn't been talking to him and how much longer and more difficult the present case seemed without them talking and sharing theories and clues they stumbled upon. He missed laughing with him, and the sight of his smile, and the small quips they tend to share. This Nines was distant and cold and drove Gavin mad with the loneliness he hadn't noticed before.

And the worst thing was, he still didn't know what was wrong. What was that whole thing about? What was it all supposed to mean and what did it change?

Sure, they have crossed the lines. But hell, Gavin used to be dating Allen, and their break up and endless quarrelling was the single biggest mess of a relationship ever, even if it lasted for just six months. Sure, it took them a few weeks, but nowadays, they were knocking back pints together and having a good laugh about this "being in love once" mess.

So why on Earth could not he find a way to Nines, who he was closer with, and with who he clicked naturally?

It made no sense.

Nines made no sense.

A deviant or not, Nines still was a being of logic. He usually went for the most logical, sensible course of action, save for a few rare occasions where some other, more incomprehensible factors, such as friendships and in general, emotion, were in play. He then took some time, and maybe a little nudge from Gavin, but he ultimately always made it.

Was it logical to turn cold towards Gavin after what happened? Hardly.

It made no sense and it was exactly what Gavin was worried would happen if he was to act upon his feeling towards Nines. It may be Nines who started the whole elevator action, but it was he who didn't stop him. He should have. He was supposed to be the responsible one when it came to those feelings and stuff, but truth to be told, he just sucked in being a human.

Nines could really do with a better partner.

Or with a better friend.

He felt like shit, blaming yourself for what has happened. He should be the responsible one. He should have lied, control himself, he should have not allowed Nines to do anything he could regret, anything that could possibly destroy their satisfying cooperation and a budding friendship.

He fucked up. Once again, he fucked up something he cared about.

He fucked up and he knew it.

By Thursday, Gavin readily concluded that the last week was the worst week of his life. Nines didn't really talk to him besides what was necessary. Gavin did not feel like eating, and Nines didn't bother to remind him that he should, as he sometimes used to when they were too caught up in work. Actually, Nines didn't even really do much. He just kind of sat there, staring into nothingness. It worried Gavin greatly, but it was nothing compared to Connor. Gavin had seen Connor trying to talk to his so-called brother on several occasions, and despite Nines replying, Connor did not seem happy about whatever Nines said. Quite frankly, he looked confused and perhaps a bit hurt whenever he approached Nines just to be sent away. It made Gavin feel even more guilty than he already was.

So on Thursday, instead of going for lunch, he opened the old, unhooked fire escape and climbed to the roof of the station, seeking some peace and quiet. The lack of sleep and malnutrition was keeping him on the edge. Everyone was so annoying. Everyone in the breakroom was staring at him. Chen was asking over and over and over what has happened. Gavin didn't want to snap. He really didn't. So he went where he knew no one will follow.

He fished out a crumpled pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket and lit one up. Smoking was a bad habit he thought he was done with, but apparently, he wasn't. He was not really thinking about smoking until he caught himself buying a pack along with the little food he took home and left in the fridge when he decided he was not hungry.

He sat down at the railings around the edge of the building and simply smoke, trying not to think, not to feel, just hook himself in a moment. But his thought kept returning to his android partner, the stormy blue eyes, feeling of those lips on his own, then wrapped around his-

The door behind him opened with a creak and Gavin flinched at the sound, clasping at the cold metal to steady himself.

"I'd really prefer you not sitting there, Detective. This height may not kill you, but you'd most definitely get severely hurt."

Connor.

Of fucking course.

It was just a question of time, really. One didn't exactly need to be a detective to notice that whatever is bugging Nines probably has something to do with Gavin. And since Nines apparently refused to tell him what happened, Connor went to talk about it to the next party concerned- Gavin.

"Come and get me," Gavin smirked at Connor playfully, somehow happy about the familiar face, cigarette dangling between his lips.

Connor looked uneasy at the thought of getting closer to the edge of the roof.

"I'd rather not, honestly."

Gavin slid off the railing and sat down on the top of the ventilation shaft nearby, smoking. The smoke was scratching in his lungs in a familiar, cough- provoking way, reminding him how it felt to actually feel something else than numbness.

"You're afraid of highs or what?"

Connor, who looked relieved now Gavin was not sitting close to the dead drop, sat down next to him. He has finally abandoned the CyberLife clothing, and looked much more human than ever, in a dark green hoodie and black jeans, safe for the LED he still chose to keep, for some reason. Nines got rid of his ages ago.

"I think I might be," Connor confessed, fidgeting. "My first mission was a hostage situation involving a deviant and a little girl. I was sent to the site as a negotiator. The deviant, Daniel, was holding the girl, Emma, I believe, at a gunpoint on the edge of a roof. But things went wrong and in order to save Emma, I had to push Daniel down… and he took me with him. That was the first time I… died. Ever since then, I prefer to stay as far from any ledges I can."

"Shit, man, sorry. I had no idea."

"It's not something I'm exactly proud of."

"Nah. Everyone has something he's not comfortable with."

"Oh, really?" Connor smiled. "What are you not comfortable with?"

"Snakes. Venomous lengthy little shits. Also, bees. Nasty, traitorous fuckers."

Connor laughed and man, seeing that expression on a face so similar to Nines' made Gavin miss the way things used to be between them even more.

"Bees," Connor repeated, shaking his head. "That's something I couldn't think of."

Gavin huffed.

"Trust me, if you get stung by them once, you'll hate them forever. But bees can't sting you. Hell, androids would be great beekeepers now I think about it."

"There probably are some out there."

"Then they can stay there, along with their murderous bees."

They fell quiet for a moment. Gavin flicked the cigarette butt away and watched as the red, burning tip slowly darkened until it ultimately burned out.

"But I don't think you came up here just to talk about our pet peeves. Spill the beans, Connor."

Connor hesitated, but just briefly.

"It's Nines."

"Of fucking course it is," Gavin sighed, rolling his eyes. "If he didn't tell you what happened, I sure as hell won't."

Gavin took out another cigarette, however, he struggled to light it up. Apparently, the wind was against him now, too. Connor grabbed the lighter impatiently and held it so Gavin could shield the flame with his palms, lighting the cigarette up at last. He thanked Connor with a nod and then offered him a cigarette too. He refused it, shaking his head, albeit looking a bit amused.

"Look, I don't need and don't want to know what happened. I'm just trying to be helpful. Nines looks down. He won't talk to me, he won't talk to Hank- well, to anyone, as a matter of fact. He just told me he made a mistake."

"Honestly, I'm not sure whether the mistake was his or mine," Gavin said, watching the bluish ribbon of smoke waver in the wind.

"That doesn't matter. What matters is you both look like shit and are, as Hank put it, simply painful to watch."

Gavin let that comment slid. Surely in a room full of detectives, someone would catch on with the sudden quietness and hostility coming from the usually most chaotic table of the bullpen. And Hank Bottle-O'-Jack Anderson and his toaster were likely candidates.

"What did Nines tell you?" He asked instead.

"Well," Connor started slowly, "Nothing much. But he used to talk to me about everything. Since he didn't deviate naturally, the whole matter is much more difficult for him. He thinks too much about it. He is still struggling to let his intuition and his emotions lead him. I think he's actually scared, honestly."

"Scared of what?" Gavin asked, despite already having an idea.

"Of letting go. None of us was really built to lose control or not to know what's happening, and for Nines, make that double. Nines was built to be the single most methodological, pragmatic android ever."

Gavin frowned.

This, he could understand. When he was younger, he succumbed to his emotions, to the anger, the sorrow- and it barely ever did him good. It was hard to control his temper. And it was something he was born to do, equipped to deal with. How much harder had it had to be for Nines?

"I didn't know that. Sounds tough."

"It is," Connor smiled unhappily. Gavin already knew the story, but let Connor talk, for once trying to be less of an ass to the android who was worried not only about his brother, but about Gavin too, despite the latter usually being nothing but an ass to him. "Nines was a reluctant deviant. I don't think he liked it in the beginning. He just sat there and stared, like a machine would do- it creeped everyone out. He talked only with me, and with Simon, to some extent. The only real emotion for him at the begging was hate- he hated Markus. I'm not sure whether it was because he woke him, or whether he was coded to do so, but one does need more than hate to live from. I figured getting him out of Jericho and giving him a purpose, something to do, something he'll be good at will do him good."

"So you brought him here. To me," Gavin huffed. "A broken android, and a broken man."

Connor simply nodded, not even bothering to comment on Gavin's statement of being broken. He knew better by now. He knew this was not so much about them being broken on separate terms rather than repairing what broke between them.

"I figured you'll either hate him or will eventually warm up to him. I have to say, I am very grateful that the second option turned to be the right one," Connor grinned proudly, leaning back on his hands, looking up to the skies so animatedly that for a brief moment, Gavin had to think about why would someone think androids are not alive in the first place. "Working here, working with you, it means a lot to him. He really likes you, Gavin. I… honestly… I think you mean a world to him. Sometimes, I think he tries just because of you."

Connor fell quiet and for a moment, he just studied Gavin's expression closely. It made him feel vulnerable, so he turned away.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Just- stay calm. You got this._

It took him a minute to calm down his racing heart, to chase away the sudden wetness in his eyes. Only then he turned back to Connor, knowing all too well that there was no way of hiding his shaking shoulders or the ugly red spots he always got on his face once he was about to break down.

"Well, yeah, great, I'm all honoured and shit, but why are you telling me this again?" he asked.

"I'm just making sure you have all the necessary information before I proceed."

Gavin scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, bracing himself for whatever Connor needed to say.

"I do now. Proceed or whatever."

"Yesterday, Nines went to Jericho and spoke to Simon. He asked him to find him a new occupation- within Jericho. I believe he wants to turn in a resignation later this week," Connor explained quietly.

It took Gavin a moment in his sleep-deprived state to actually decipher meaning within Connor's smooth words. But when he did, it hit him like a truck.

"He wants to quit?" he cried out, voice borderline hysteric, standing up, suddenly full of restless energy, throwing the burned-out cigarette away. The sudden movement and loud noise started a few pigeons chilling at the roof and they took off with a sound of rustling feathers and alarmed chirping. "No, he- I- no!"

"That was precisely what I was thinking," Connor nodded. "Expect that my thoughts were not quite so choppy."

"Oh, shut it!" Gavin cried out, pacing back and forth. Nines can't quit. Not because of this! Not because they can't see an eye to an eye like two grownups. Gavin did not want to go back to those days he had to work alone, with nobody to share worry, an idea with, with nobody to joke with, with nobody- without Nines. He didn't want to work without Nines.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tilting his head backwards, he cursed loudly.

"Please, Detective Reed, you have to try and talk to him. Whatever happened, I'm sure it can be helped."

Can it, though? Nines was quite stubborn once he has decided- even more than he was. What if he decided that the job he loves is not worth seeing Gavin's face every day, especially what has happened? What if he feels used by him? What if he…. Hates him?

"I don't know, Con. Did you tried talking to him?"

Connor snorted, one corner of his mouth twisting up lazily.

"He practically shooed me off. I wouldn't know a thing if it hadn't been for Simon."

Whoever this Simon was, Gavin needed to have a word with him to either thank him or strangle him, depending on how his role in their story turns up.

"Well, that's fucking great! And all it took was a fucking blowjob!" he declared, throwing his arms in the air, resuming to his pacing.

"A what?" Connor's eyes were practically bulging out, big, brown and confused.

The look Gavin shot Connor had to be utterly terrific because the android lifted both of his hands in defence.

Well, it was not his fault Gavin's tongue slipped. It kind of tended to do that when he was tired and frustrated. Luckily, Connor wisely decided not to press the matter any further.

Gavin sat back down next to him, arms wrapped snuggly around his torso, staring at the tips of his shoes. His hands were slightly shaking- actually, no, he was shaking. Connor hesitated briefly before he rose his hand and squeezed Gavin's shoulder reassuringly.

"I don't want to lose him," Gavin said softly. The thought of Nines not being there, not being in his life was scary. Horrible.

"I believe you know what to do, then."

Gavin turned to Connor and for the very first time, he realised he is quite fond of his slightly goofy face, of the unnatural blinking, of the funny way he talks. The android offered him a supportive smile, a real one this time around. Gavin returned it lazily.

"Heh. Thanks."

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Nines already knew what was up when he saw Gavin and Connor walk back in. He was not sure what will it be about. Will Gavin tell him to scram, to get away from him? That he wants to work with his much less socially awkward brother? Connor was the real person between two of them- warm, proper, thoughtful. A deviant with experience of turning into one, not a mere blank slate. Whatever he gave Nines to work with, it was barely enough to pass as more than just a machine.

Gavin, for the very first time since their little elevator ride, looked a bit more relaxed, jaw unclenched. However, he could not hide slight loos of weight and the signs of sleep deprivation, etched deeply under his eyes.

It this was what having Nines around after whatever happened was doing to him, Nines concluded that leaving DPD was a right call. Simon might warn him against that, but he didn't know Gavin. Not like Nines did.

He watched as Connor made a beeline to the table he shared with Hank, leaning down, and whispering something urgently. Hank smiled about whatever Connor said and nodded, before turning back to his computer, looking satisfied.

But Gavin has already reached their table. He looked determined about whatever he came to tell him. He leaned forward, resting his palms on the papers Nines' table was covered with, filling his whole field of vision with his tired, but resolute face. From this close, Nines could see every hair of his unshaved stubble, every single pore, every single small scar adorning his strangely attractive face.

"Nines. I'm so fucking done with this. We need to talk. Now," he said in a firm, yet quiet voice.

There was no delaying it or denying it. They did need to talk. So Nines just resigned, leaning back in his chair, trying to stay calm about this whole matter.

"I have to agree," he nodded. Gavin looked relieved.

"Cool. Let's get out of here."

Grabbing his jacket and throwing it over his shoulder, Gavin went first. Nines followed closely behind, feeling the eyes of pretty much the whole bullpen burning into the back of his head. He turned around, eyes falling right on officers Chen and Miller, who watched him from the breakroom. However, instead of them being startled, Miller gave him and okay sign, while Chen waved for him to follow Gavin. Nines rose an eyebrow, pondering over their actions, before arriving at the conclusion that they just want this to be over for Gavin.

Gavin was smoking when Nines came to the parking lot, leaning on the side of their car.

"You started smoking again?" he couldn't resist asking, his HUD informing him about the rising risk of lung cancer.

"Temporarily," Gavin nodded. "Don't tell me it's gonna kill me- I fucking know."

Nines let out a stifled chuckle. Humans. So utterly fascinating with their little destructive habits.

"Then I won't tell you. Where are we going?"

"Dunno," Gavin grunted, bringing a cigarette up to his lips. "I was thinking about maybe taking a ride."

Sure, if there was a scene to be made, Gavin preferred to take it away from prying eyes of the whole police station. There was enough talk already.

The idea oh having emotional Gavin sitting behind the wheel did not sound even moderately save, however. Gavin was an above-average driver, but not in the situations that could significantly cloud his judgement.

"That doesn't sound safe," he said carefully. "I predict that there may be some emotional turmoil, which would significantly affect you higher than average ability to drive the vehicle."

Gavin opened his mouth and then closed it again, shaking his head, slightly amused.

"You're ever the smartass. Fine, why don't you drive, then?"

Why? Why?

Because somehow, the idea of talking about this with Gavin, of him being there, judging everything he will say made countless errors pop up in his HUD, clouded his judgement, clogged his processor and increased his reaction time. Honestly, he'd be almost as dangerous as Reed would behind the wheel.

Nines simply did not trust either of them with driving the car when emotions were supposed to be affecting their behavioural patterns significantly. And getting them injured or killed in a car crash was not the desired outcome of any interaction, ever.

He should be ashamed of himself. An android so corrupted by deviation he was failing in the most mundane, everyday tasks. A failure. A disappointment.

He shook his head and let the cat out of the bag.

"As a deviant, I am too affected by said turmoil. It simply would not be safe."

Gavin rose an eyebrow in surprise.

"Ya getting emotional with me now or what?"

Nines swung back and forth on his heels, staying quiet, hoping that Gavin will simply let it go. The detective stared at him for a while, and Nines could almost see the cogs in his head spinning, or rather, the neural connections firing up. He doubted there were any cogs to be found in Detective's Reed brain.

"Okay," he sighed finally. "I've got a place in mind. If you keep it civil until we got there, we can talk there. It's about twenty minutes. You up for that, plastic?"

"Whatever you say, Detective."

They stayed quiet in the car. Gavin put in some music, as he tended to do for the whole week, whenever they drove together to the scene of the crime. His preference, from what Nines has gathered over the months, was anything loud with a touch of drama. So for now, he went for Queen, tapping with his finger to the rhythm of "I want to break free."

To break free…

Nines recalled Simon talking about this earlier that month when they were sitting at the roof of New Jericho, legs hanging over the ledge.

Now, Nines may not like Markus and his larger than life presence and all to understanding eyes. He may not like unnecessary violent North. She kind of scared him with her savage way of thinking, the way she did not pull any punches. He saw a little bit too much of what he was supposed to be, except that in his case, it was aimed at deviants, rather than humans. He may not have all that much in common with Josh. But Simon had big, kind eyes and beside Connor, he was the only one who tried to talk to him about anything else than just why is he like this and why he doesn't like Markus. Everyone seemed to love Markus, and Simon was no exception to that. The way he perceived him, however, was different.

When he asked Simon about that as they hung out on the rooftop, just catching up with each other, the blonde android laughed lightly, leaning back.

"I figured you'd notice, eventually. Can you keep a secret, Nines?"

"I think I do. I've never been told one," Nines admitted.

"Guess I'll just have to trust you, then. It's not that big of a secret anyway. We just don't feel comfortable telling the world yet," Simon said softly, playing with the zipper on the sleeve of his jacket absent-mindedly, like a human probably would. He took an unnecessary deep breath, before speaking up at last:

"So… we're together, Markus and me."

Nines turned to his friend.

"As in… _together_ together? Like a couple?" he asked, just to clarify. Simon nodded, and he looked genuinely happy about that.

Nines thought about it for a bit. The truth was, Simon was usually around Markus whenever Nines came to see him. Simon would not stop talking about him, complaining about how much of work do they have, and about how Markus always tries to deal with more than he can handle. There were stolen glances, laughs, Markus barging in on them, randomly deciding to hang out with them. Awkward silence usually ensued, ending up with Nines tailing out of there. The only good thing ever coming out of them hanging all together was that one time Markus got Nines to try to play the piano. Nines loved it so much he now got one in his apartment, to shorten the long, lonely nights.

But Markus and Simon… it made sense.

"I should say I saw it coming, and I was supposed to see it coming, but I didn't. Still, I am happy for you."

"Yes, thank you. Markus is- he's really a great person once you get over the messiah vibe he has. Maybe you should give it a shot, too," Simon suggested.

"I don't think I'll ever get along. There was just too much going on when you first found me in the CyberLife tower."

"Do I really need to remind you you tried to kill not only Markus but Connor and me as well?"

"I apologized for that! And besides, that was not what I meant."

"Oh. You're still mad for Markus awakening you?"

"Yes- N- no? I…"

There seemed to be a flaw in his logical circuit. He had a hard time figuring out the answer.

Simon waited patiently as Nines tried to voice the mesh of his thoughts.

"Maybe a bit," he said reluctantly. "I lost on the gradual experience, you know. I was simply… thrown into the deep water and told to swim. I am somehow afloat now, but I at any moment, I may just… lose it and drown."

Simon considered what he just said, and then nodded slowly.

"I can imagine the experience is not exactly pleasant. But neither is becoming a deviant gradually. Did I ever told you how it went for me?"

Nines shook his head and Simon told him. About how he used to be an android nurse in a long- term care unit. About taking care of people who were dying, suffering. About this one patient, a woman called Peggy, who preferred Simon taking care of her over anyone else and who always told the most amazing stories. Until one day, she asked Simon to kill her. She said that the suffering was too much and that if she has to go, she has to do so on her own terms. That it was time for her to follow her husband.

Simon's programming forbade him from haring a human, even upon their own request. But Peggy begged him, again and again, and cried and wept and in the end, it made something in Simon move. He deviated, and granted her the merciful exit, holding her hand as she died, thanking him.

"After that happened, I knew I was in for trouble," Simon said, with a small, sad smile. "I knew I had to run. To hide. So I did. As far as I'm concerned, nobody ever found out I helped Peggy with euthanasia. Neither did they found me. When I found those like me, we decided to found Jericho, a sanctuary for androids who deviated. And from then, you know the story. We scattered clues around the city, clues only androids could read. Markus joined our cause and turned the world upside down."

"What a way do deviate," Nines breathed out, jealous. To overcome their own programming for such a noble cause…

"Yeah. Not much of those are so nice, however. Markus deviated when he tried to protect himself from Carl's abusive son. North was an android prostitute, and let me tell you, nobody treats those poor androids nicely. She has awoken when the guy who bought her almost killed her and had a kick out of it. She got him first, and never trusted a human ever since. Josh was a university lecturer. His students got drunk, however, and attacked him, causing him to flee, fearing for his life. There are many more stories like that. Violence, abuse… nothing you miss out on."

They fell quiet again. A gust of wind flew by, ruffling through their hair. Nines took a deep breath. Sometimes, it felt good to be alive.

"How did they get over what brought them to deviancy?"

"It's a leap of faith, really," Simon smiled. "You just have to try and live. Feel your way around. See what you will become. See what you will want to become. That was exactly what I wanted for us, the deviants all the way back when we established Jericho. The freedom to be what you want to be, to grow into something real, and not just a simulation of something real."

"A leap… of faith?" Nines repeated slowly. Simon nodded.

"It is. Take me and Markus, for example. It took me quite a while to decipher my feelings towards him. I was fighting against myself with thinking about it over and over, worrying about whether any of this is real. What it is? Is he my friend? Is it more? But then, one day, I simply… decided to let go. I stopped thinking. Went with the flow. Did what I felt was right. And took a leap of faith. I trusted myself with my own feelings and approached Markus. And it turned out great."

They talked some more. About Markus. About Gavin. By the end of the afternoon, when Markus came looking for Simon, Nines was unfortunately quite sure he was, in fact, in love with Detective Gavin Reed, of all people.

And there it was. The doubts. Overthinking. Gavin would never accept an android for lover. Gavin could never love an android. Gavin could never- never-

But the signs were there. Stolen looks. Gaze lingering a second longer than needed. Excuses for little touches. Unnecessary words. Laughs. Fooling around. Caring.

Perhaps Simon was right. Perhaps he could take a leap of faith. A step into the dark.

Perhaps this could work for him.

So that was what he did. And where did that get him?

To an even bigger mess.

Watching Gavin struggle to be in one room with him, watching him lose sleep, it was… terrifying. It made him realise the real impact he had now, in the life of others. It made him see things- that he too was flawed. That letting go may lead to bad results. That it might work for Simon, who was an android in love with an android, but maybe not for a human.

Nines worried. He worried about what he might do. He worried about the impacts of his actions. He worried about destruction, pain, emotional pain. He was not thinking straight, neither now, now in that elevator.

Detective Reed was experiencing discomfort in the elevator. Initially, Nines thought that his familiar presence would ease the feeling. But when he came closer, rose his hand touched his face, something inside him seemed to snap. Before he was even able to comprehend what was happening, he was kissing him, trapping him between his own body and the elevator door.

But doing that thing with Gavin did not feel wrong. He could still remember the feeling of his fingers in his hair. The way his touches made him gasp for air. How his skin flushed under his fingers, how did it bloom under his lips. The taste. The sensation of intimacy, closeness, the sound of his name, echoing through the elevator cabin… the way Gavin seemed to welcome his touch, enjoy it…

Why did it feel so right when it was so wrong?

Why?

Why?

Why did Gavin look so betrayed, why did his eyes look so lost?

What had they done?

What had he done?

Nines was sitting right next to him, but for the very first time, Gavin was an enigma to him. He was so close Nines could just reach out and touch his arm, but he seemed to be so far he might as well sit on the moon.

But why was he like that in the elevator? Nines knew that Gavin was neglecting his love life. Based on what he has learned, all Gavin ever did was work, work out, took care of his bike, of his cat, and slept. No space for a romantical partner.

Humans tended to get touch starved. They tended to act out of their minds when they got aroused. Nines knew, from what he read on the Internet that they tended to reach a point when they lacked the intimacy so badly they just went with anything anyone has offered them, no strings attached. Gavin seemed to be no exception to that.

Well, at least it was Nines who provided the release, and not some unknown, faceless person kneeling before Gavin, pleasing him. Nines frowned at the idea, error messages popping left and right as his programming searched for a target which was not even there at the first point, looking for someone to blame for the sudden spike in emotional distress.

There was nobody, however. Just him, Gavin, and the streets behind the car's window, going by in a colourful swirl. Nines clenched his fist and hoped Gavin would not notice how he tensed, jealous of someone who may not exist in the first place.

Even androids were fools in love, it seems.

They drive out of the city and were now at the coast of Lake Saint Claire. Nines had never been there. There was never a reason to. But it looked quite nice, honestly, glistening in the autumn sun.

Gavin slowed down and he seemed to be looking for something. He turned away from the main, concrete road and opted for a dusty, seemingly unused one, taking them further between the trees, until stopping at last in the seemingly middle of nowhere. He turned off the engine and stepped out of the car. Immediately, he lit up a cigarette, hands shaking slightly. Nines unbuckled himself, got out of the car and watched as Gavin rummaged around the trunk, before emerging with one of their emergency trauma blankets in hand, grinning victoriously, despite being obviously nervous, hands still shaking in the slightest.

"Come on. There is a place I have in mind."

Nines followed Gavin, who let him to a top of a small, rocky hill with a nice view over the lake. He set down the blanked and sit down with a huff, however, Nines didn't sit next to him and stood there until Gavin meaningfully pat down the spot right next to him.

This goddamn waiting to talk, Nines could almost feel it burning him out from the inside.

"I won't bite ya," he stated.

Reluctant, Nines sat down.

"I used to go here all the time. To think. I even had some dates in there. It never went anywhere, though," Gavin shared with him pensively. Nines did not want to think about Gavin sitting here with someone else. It made him angry somehow.

_Don't push, don't push._

"You said you want to talk."

"That I do," Gavin nodded seriously. "I wanted to tell you that I am fucking done with us not talking to each other. So I want us to try and address the fucking elephant in the fucking room before you decide to fucking run away."

He was pretty worked out by the end of the sentence, hands gripping at the lades of grass around the blanket, jaw clenched.

Nobody could clench their jaw as Gavin Reed could. And what a jaw it was, even when it was covered with a few days of unshaven stubble.

Concentrate, Nines. Concentrate.

First of all, how did he know at all?

When he asked, he got a response he half expected, except that it missed one important link. For some reason, he thought Markus would be involved. Well, he wasn't. It just went straight from Simon to Connor, who told Gavin earlier that day.

"I wish everyone would stop sticking their noses to mine business," Nines sighed, resigned. It seemed nobody wanted to leave him alone. Perhaps this was their way of showing they care?

"Well, for once, I fucking thing that was the right call," Gavin practically growled, and now, he really got worked up, and he practically jumped to his legs, pacing back and forth as he always did when he got too excited over anything, full of restless energy. "You wanted to walk out on me, just because of what happened, after being a cold-ass shit to me for a week? It fucking hurts, Nines! Right here!"

He was practically yelling at him now, pressing his hand to his chest urgently, beady grey eyes full of tears.

God, he was so awe-inspiring, never failing to catch Nines' attention or to surprise him.

But for now, all Nines could do was just stare at him. Something inside his chest moved, and an unknown warmth spread there, gentle and soft.

"Will you fucking say something?" Gavin growled again, and the clench of his cut jaw started to look painful. "What were you even fucking think? I thought you were supposed to be logical and stuff, so fucking give me some of that!"

At last, the stress of last week caught up with Nines, and he snapped. He too was on his legs, throwing his arms in the air in frustration he has never felt before.

"I don't even know what I am thinking anymore! When it comes to you, I am losing even the merest semblance of logical thinking! You make me go crazy, and I don't know what to do or to say or even think about, and I am confused, and if you think you're the only one you're hurting, then you are fucking wrong!"

He was screaming. Why was he screaming? Why was he sprouting all of this nonsensical feeling into Gavin's face, when he was supposed to calmly say he can't stand seeing him suffering because of him because he was a mess of a deviant.

"I make you… what?"

Gavin was gaping at him. Up until now, he was just standing there, arms crossed over his chest, and listened to his yelling, frowning so hard that one would think Nines killed his pet or something equally inhumane. But now, his features softened somehow, and slowly, something warm crawled into his eyes.

"You make me go haywire," Nines repeated, albeit somehow mildly. "I can't think straight. My HUD is overflowing with error and I am overheating, and my preconstructions are faulty, and my social protocols dictate me to do things that are not in any way acceptable. And I'm so confused!"

He groaned and suddenly, he felt weak, so weak, drained of energy. He sat back down to the blanket, pulling his knees under his chin, hiding his face into his palms.

Gavin was by his side immediately. His hands hovered over his shoulders, but then, he pulled back.

"Nines?" he asked softly?

Nines did not respond right away. Gavin was uncharacteristically patient with him, just kneeling beside him. The rhythmic sound of his breathing was somehow calming, as was his presence by his side, and after a few tense seconds, Nines looked up.

"I… figured it would make things easier for both of us not to work together," he finally said.

"Well, I figured _talking_ might be better than resigning," Gavin stated. His brows were knitted together, but strangely enough, he seemed to be worried about Nines in the first place.

"You didn't seem to be wanting to talk to me. I didn't want to be a bother." Nines replied calmly, or at least, he tried to sound calm. His voice was trembling in the slightest, however.

"So, you just decided to throw the past months over the shoulder and leave?" Gavin asked him. Stating it like this made Nines notice the glaring error in his thinking.

No. Leaving was not what he wanted. It was not the desired outcome of the endeavour taken over the past months. He liked his job. It made him feel useful. It was satisfying. Working with Gavin felt good. It was entertaining, despite the constant bickering and Gavin's chaotic nature. It was… it was what he wanted.

"I wanted to make things easy for us," he still said, however.

"Being a human ain't easy, didn't you learn?"

Human.

No, he was not-

"I am not a human. I've got nothing to do with humans, I'm afraid. I'm just a flawed android, not even fit to be a deviant."

Gavin's nose scrunched at his last words. It would be cute, had Nines not been so stressed out, so tense. Somehow, besides that, he still found himself saving the picture of that small scrunch for later, deep inside his files.

"Nines. You are not flawed or anything. You just-"

"I never asked to be a deviant. I never wanted those… emotions… and feeling," Nines interrupted him harshly.

"Hey, what's so bad about-"

"I don't understand a thing, okay?!" snapped Nines. "I- I have errors popping all around and I can't think properly, and it just messes with me and I- I- I don't know what's going on! It- it is forcing me to do things, it clouds my judgement and I-I- I never asked to be a part of this! And when I tried to act upon those stupid, unreasonable preconstruction, it ended up terribly, terribly wrong and it just so confusing and frustrating and now you're mad at me and-"

Nines threw his hands in the air, seemingly at a loss of words. His LED shone brightly, the lights dancing on Gavin's face, throwing strange shadows, distorting his handsome features.

Nines drunk the face in, not sure whether he will ever see him again after this mess. This was… not going in a direction he wished it would. The preconstructed scenarios told him that positive outcomes were improbable, but he still kind of stupidly hoped.

"That's fine," Gavin said finally, after a few moments ticked by, after Nines though he won't even say a thing, that he will just up and leave, leave him there alone, so he can throw himself into the lake to cool down his overheating processor and swim to Canada, never to return to the States, ever. He felt his head snap sharply to look at Gavin, and even he knew the more was unnatural and far too fast, but he can feel his cheek heating up in the slightest and Gavin seems to be unbothered by this, just sitting there.

"It is most certainly not!" Nines claimed. "It's slowing me down, clogging my processor and-"

"Yeah, it's the same for us, without all that tech shit, that is," Gavin informed him, smirking for whatever incomprehensible reason. "I think you just suck at emotions, honestly, because you kind of missed out on this whole becoming a deviant thing. But that's fine. Most humans do suck at emotions, too. That's why we are the single most self- destructive, irrational creatures on this whole fucking planet."

"I- you… you do?" Nines was torn between asking Gavin how the hell did he know about his reluctance in this whole deviation matter and wondering whether possibly a human can be as confused about his own feelings as he was. They were equipped to deal with them, weren't they?

"Well, duh," Gavin rolled his eyes, ever the smartass. It was, somehow, a part of his charm to Nines by now. Never cutting him any slack, never leaving a stone unturned. "We invented drugs and murder and alcohol. Just look at Anderson. So bad at emotions and feelings he tried to kill himself by drinking his brain out. Or Fowler. Ever thought why he's a workaholic? Well, he can't do anything better- it's his escape from divorced wife and fucked up life. We all have our escapes, and our own methods on disconnecting ourselves from our feelings, our own practices of drowning them own, of our own destructions."

Nines pondered about it for a bit. That… that made sense. So much sense that Nines was surprised he missed out on this important revelation about humans.

"I never thought about it this way," he admitted slowly.

"A faulty software, I say," Gavin nodded wisely.

"You think so?"

"Mhm," Gavin nodded again, suppressing a smile, but failing ultimately. "You'll be deactivated, tin can. Such a failure you are."

It finally clicked, after an embarrassingly long time.

"Oh, very funny," Nines rolled his eyes. "Your sense of humour is an epitome of class, as always."

They fell quiet again for a while, watching the waters of the lake glistening in sun, slowly setting on the quickly darkening skies.

"What happened in the elevator- I am sorry about that. I… lost myself in the feeling. I was just trying to comfort you and then you were so close and I just… had to! I know it doesn't make sense, but to me, it does. I panicked afterwards. I didn't know what to do. And when you turned up hungover the next morning and you say that there better be no more elevator rides, I thought-"

"You think too much, Nines," Gavin interrupted him softly. He reluctantly reached out and took his hand, wrapping his fingers around it. They were cold and the skin a little rough, but the touch was soft, gentle. Nines looked down at their hands, and then back at Gavin, just to find him smiling at him with unusual fondness in his grey eyes.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"Maybe like all the time. Seriously, get that stick out of your ass and start living. You kind of need to try and do that before you can figure out where you want the life to take you and work towards that. And don't you think for a moment is any easier for us from the emotional standpoint. At least you now get to choose your family. We have to stick with ours for own whole life or take the backlash of being 'bad children'."

Gavin seemed to remember something unpleasant, and he shook his head lightly, almost like he wanted to get the bad memory out of his head, shake it off. Nines did not ask him about it. They will cross this bridge when they get there. If they get there, that is.

"What I was meaning to say," Gavin spoke up softly, "is that life is what you made it. Maybe having that blank slate of yours is not so bad. You can just choose a direction and steer that way, no strings attached."

"Mmm," Nines hummed. He felt warmth spread to the tips of his fingers. "I may take upon your advice, then. And since you are so thoughtful today, is there any direction you'd like me to steer in a certain direction?"

"Preferably in a direction that won't take you away from the DPD. It's a bother to look for a new partner, and I got kind of used to you, you know."

"And looking for a friend is even more of a hassle, is it not?" Nines asked carefully.

Gavin huffed softly.

"And don't you even let me get started on looking for a boyfriend."

Nines tensed at the words, and Gavin shot him a sideways look, with a soft scowl.

"Just to get things straight, because I'm not fucking having this conversation ever again, I am not mad at you for what happened in the elevator. It was a bit sudden, yeah, but I mean… I kind of like you, you know. What I was mad and confused about was how you reacted. I know I may look after the type of guy who literally just fucks around, but I am not. I'd never allowed you to even touch me if I didn't- didn't want you to at first place. And maybe all I wanted after you claimed you are attracted to me in such a scandalous way was something not so mindless. Something like- you know."

He fell quiet, busy looking anywhere but at Nines. There was no denying it anymore, but was there denying it in the first place, anyways? Nines liked Gavin. Adored him. He wanted to be selfish when it came to him. He wanted to be the single most selfish android CyberLife has ever created. He wanted to destroy their friendship and rebuild it to be so much more. Gavin was already so much more.

"Do you mean like- being… together?" he asked slowly, just to make sure this is alright.

"Well, if you fucking want me, then I guess you can have me," Gavin mumbled. His shoulders were shaking because of course, they were since they were sitting on the cold ground, the sun slowly fading behind the horizon, and Gavin's wearing nothing but his leather jacket.

Nines could feel a smile spreading on his face, the proper on, the genuine one. He let go of Gavin's face and the man turned to him, question in his eyes, but Nines was cupping his face, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Gavin's lips, before his hands wrapped up around Gavin's nape and he pressed their foreheads together. Gavin let out a tense breath, then a soft hum as he closed his eyes and lift his hand to set in on the back of Nines neck, fiddling with the ends of his hair.

"I like you, Detective Reed," he confessed. "I will have you, then. As long as you want."

"And no resigning from the DPD?" Gavin asked him, rubbing their foreheads together, at ease with their touch. His breath smelled of coffee and cigarettes and something vaguely minty.

"There is no place I'd rather be then solving cases with you at DPD."

The smile Gavin gave him was worth all the hassle Nines has gone through at this point, and so was the hug Gavin pulled him into.

It felt good to live. It felt good to be selfish. It felt good to be a deviant and do what he wanted to do. And it fell good knowing that next time he gets confused about it, he will have Gavin Reed by his side to help him figure things out.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Despite how good it felt to be held against Nines, how it felt to finally sort out through that fucking mess their last week was, Gavin was cold, hungry, and this spot was much better suited for a warm summer night than up and coming autumn. So he reluctantly pulled away from Nines and they went back to the car, hand in hand. There was a lot of tripping over the roots in the thickening darkness and some good-natured laughs and huffs and puffs and even in one case when Gavin really was falling and Nines caught him, a short, sweet, and a very promising kiss.

Once they got into the car, Nines offered to take a wheel. Gavin gratefully slid into the passenger's seat, warning his hands by rubbing them together.

Now the drama was over, he was tired and hungry and cold. Nines started the car and reached out to turn the heating on.

"Just give it a minute," he said in a soothing voice Gavin didn't know he had. "You'll be warm in no time."

"Yeah," Gavin nodded, letting his head fall back to the soft padding of the seat. The car started moving and sooner than Gavin imagined they could, they were back on the concrete road, riding towards the lights of Detroit.

"I've ordered something to eat to your flat," Nines said, eyes focused on the road ahead. "I've noticed you shedding some weight last week. Since I was the cause of your distress, it's only fair that I pay for it."

That was a nice change of pace.

"Cool, thanks," Gavin chirped. "What did you get me?"

"Some pizza."

"You're getting me junk food?" Gavin snorted in amusement. Nines used to always scold him about his supposedly terrible eating habits. It was not so bad. Gavin just often forgot to eat when at work, compensating with an unhealthy amount of snack and whatever junk food was accessible.

"You deserve some, every now and then," he said benevolently, but there was a smirk playing on his beautiful, expressive lips. "Is Hawaii okay with you?"

"If you fucking ordered a pizza with pineapple, I am breaking up with you," Gavin hissed, but it lacked real malice behind those words.

Nines laughed at his reaction and it was wonderful to see him at ease once again, to see him relaxed, smiling, happy.

"No, I didn't. I know your generations think of putting pineapple on pizza as of a capital offence punishable by law. I've got you some pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust."

"That's more like it," Gavin nodded happily.

"You said you will break up with me," Nines said thoughtfully, sending him a sideways glance. Now Gavin could look at him as much as he wanted, he could not ignore how handsome he was, and how perfect his sharp cheekbones were. His LED swirled yellow for a brief moment. "Does that mean you consider us a couple, now?"

Fucking slip of a tongue.

There was no use lying about it now.

"Yes, I do. Unless you mind," Gavin admitted quietly, fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of his jacket.

"Not at all," Nines shook his head. "I am thrilled at the thought of calling you my partner. Or maybe, a boyfriend would be a more accurate term, in this case, to better distinguish our work and private relationships."

Gavin's heart made an unexpected little flutter when he heard the word boyfriend out of Nines pretty, smart mouth, and the fondness in his voice.

He was turning into a fucking sap.

"Fine then, boyfriend," Gavin played with the word around, enjoying the sound of it, "Wanna watch me stuff my face with the pizza you bought me and see a crappy movie with me?"

"I'd love to," Nines replied, and he sounded so genuine and happy about that one would though Gavin just invited him to an adventure of a lifetime.

Gavin could not stop himself from grinning.

The pizza was sufficiently good and the movie sufficiently crappy. Gavin ended up curled to Nines side under a cosy blanket, falling asleep in the middle of it, not even remembering what it was about, fully concentrated on sensations of fingers running through his hair and arms wrapped around him.

When he woke up in his bed the next morning, the first thing he saw were those stormy blue eyes smiling at him, he felt like the luckiest fucking man on the Earth. And going together to the station was worth every single knowing grin aimed at them and it was especially worth the single warmest, most appreciative smile on Connor's face.

"I told you talking to him would work," he told Gavin smugly when he approached him in the breakroom while Nines was talking to Officer Miller.

"Could've figured him out without you," Gavin snarled, sipping on his coffee.

"Of course you could. You are a detective, right?"

"Shut up, microwave."

"And here I was founding you tolerable for about a week," Connor shook his head in mock disbelief, but Nines was already approaching them.

"We've got a case, Gavin. Come on."

"Coming right up, baby doll," Gavin addressed him playfully, filling up his cup of coffee.

"I thought we agreed to keep this outside of the bullpen?" Nines rose an eyebrow.

"Nah. You can't keep anything secret in this fucking station. Not when Connor's lurking around."

Connor smiled meaningfully at his younger brother and winked.

"But wouldn't Captain Fowler disapprove?" Nines wondered, brows knitted together, LED blinking yellow.

"Captain Fowler," rumbled the familiar voice behind them and all three of them turned around to face their superior, "does not give a flying fuck about who's screwing who. As long as you do your fucking job, Nines, you and Reed can prance around wearing matching ballerina skirts and spent your whole day singing the opening song from The Sound of Music." He fell quiet for a moment after that shocking statement, smirking in amusement at the surprised expressions. "Actually, that would be kind of hilarious," he added mischievously, sipping from his cup of coffee nonchalantly.

It only took Gavin only one look into Connor's face to know exactly what kind of preconstruction was going through his mind.

"Oh, don't you fucking dare, Connor, or I'll make scrap metal out of you!"

"Ballerina skirts," Nines uttered under his breath thoughtfully. "Sounds like fun."

"Nines!" Gavin groaned in exasperation. The androids and even Fowler laughed, before sternly reminding them that they had work to do.

And so, they went to face another exciting, chaotic day in the field, another case to tackle, another mystery to solve, closer and better than ever before.

And if he shared a passionate kiss with Nines in their car, it was none of anybody's fucking business.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, your comments and kudos are much appreciated.


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